One of the best gifts that you can give your child or grandchild is to pick up a fly rod and teach him or her how to fish. In my case I have a special son and since this short piece is dedicated to him, I’ll stick with the masculine.
What could be simpler and more enjoyable! A day out with your favorite little person, a stretch of water and the gentle morning breeze touching your cheeks. But, this seemingly simple act may have implications and consequences well beyond the immediate task that may be missed on a first pass.
Teaching your child to fish can bring important lessons not just about the obvious, catching fish but, more importantly, about your relationship with him, his own self and life itself. We need only to look beneath the surface to find a wealth of lessons. Teaching your son how to fish has several dimensions. There is the direct teaching experience as you lovingly show him, first the rough, and then the finer aspects of the sport. There are lots of lessons to be learned and shared while teaching him, not just about fishing but about that special individual that looks up to you in awe and expectation and deserves the best you can give him. You will learn a lot by his eager questions, small successes and defeats, shared laughs and sad moments. This phase of teaching is mainly concerned with the technicalities of “how” to fish. But do not make the mistake of believing that this is the only aspect that he is interested in. Concentrate on the whole experience, not just the act itself. A young mind is eager to learn about its surroundings and is curious about everything.
While the farm pond full of bluegills or bream may be the perfect spot to begin, make an effort and take him to those very special places that you have come to love. Never underestimate his capacity for appreciation even if this is not openly recognized. If you do your job well, he will come to love fishing as something more than just catching fish and his love for the sport will have opened the door to an even more important lifelong learning experience.
While the first part of teaching him may be limited by your own abilities and knowledge, the second part will occur inevitably, without your help or presence. Even if you will not be there to witness this learning experience, your rewards will be even greater as you will come to understand that you were the one who set him on a course that will assure your legacy of love for him and for your sport. This second part he will pursue at his own pace, by his own means and most importantly, for the rest of his life. If you are lucky this second phase will be centered on the “why” we fish and love the places where fish are found. He will come to appreciate and delight in the most profound philosophical questions about his relationship with nature and his cherished sport. He will learn a lot about life and about himself as he discovers what has made fly fishing “the contemplative sport”. I believe that few lessons can be as rewarding as this.
Many recommendations seem logical for you to accomplish the first part. Teach him lovingly, be patient, do not rush him and most of all, do not oversell. Teach him to appreciate the experience for itself, that the important thing is the time shared together, that fishing has little to do with catching fish but much to do with shared friendship and enjoying the environs where fish abound. Relax. Let things happen, go with the flow. Silence sometimes can be more valuable that all the explanations. Mistakes are a necessary part of the learning process. Anticipation, planning and preparation, if only for a trip to the nearby stream, can be as much a lesson and fun as getting there. The mere concept of going to a faraway or special place will keep him awake all night to make sure he does not miss the opportunity. Remember that many aspects of preparation that may be trivial to you can be important lessons, sources of great joy and participation on his part. Try to imagine what is going on in his mind by recalling your early experiences and the simple things you enjoyed before life became complicated. Make an effort and treat him to a special trip to those places you have come to regard as part of your hidden treasure. Can you think of a better person with whom to share them? Do not look at him as a child. Think of him as your special fishing buddy with whom to share secrets and fun. Forget about his age, try to see him as you would like him to be when he grows. If you are observant and can stand apart to watch his evolution, you will be able to witness a beautiful transformation from boy to fly fisherman just as he evolves from child to adult.
Lessons will abound. When he holds in his shaking hands his first wild brook trout and admires its finely grained patterns and deep full colors of incredible beauty, he will learn to appreciate the bounty that nature can offer, that not all jewels can be purchased and that things of beauty need not be owned to be enjoyed. Both in choosing to keep his catch or in releasing it gently and unharmed, important lessons are to be learned. He will come to understand that life is precious, death final, nature not without limits. That his actions of today have consequences tomorrow. That he can be proud of himself without being selfish. That the important contest is within himself and that it is not a race.
He will look around with joy and see the unspoiled surroundings where trout exist and he will learn the importance of preserving our environment. One day, when he is older and he returns to that very same spot seeking to recreate his experience and finds that pollution and development have taken their toll, he will learn just how fragile and precious our world is.
He will learn about passion and love. About wanting something so much it hurts deep inside and about coming to terms with the fact that not all things we want can be had. A new rod, a shiny reel in a fine leather pouch, a coveted wading jacket. Things worth saving for and working hard to earn. A fish lost and a trophy taken. Recognition and pride. The joy of success and the agony of defeat. The value and sadness of the last cast of the season and the anticipation before fishing a new place full of unimaginable new challenges and returns.
He will find ways to please you and seek your approval. Be prepared to accept that he will be working hard to outdo you. To beat and shame you at your own game. Rejoice when he succeeds, as is the best proof that you have done a good job. Look ahead to a time to come when it will be he who calls on you to accompany him to some faraway place to share time with you and relive the memories of rivers past.
He will learn about sharing. Sharing special times with friends and loved ones. That sharing the things that matter most will make them much more valuable. That you don’t loose anything but gain manifold in companionship and friendship.
One day, just when he thinks he knows it all, when all things seem right, when the weather is perfect, his new rod balanced and delicate, his flies carefully tied and true to pattern, his casting skillful and his presentation flawless, a river somewhere will deny him its bounty and teach him to be humble. He will learn the bitter flavor of defeat. By now his passion will send him back to trying even harder to be good at his chosen skill. He will learn that trout cannot be bribed, bought or talked into taking his offerings. That trout could care less about how much you paid for that fine rod. That all men regardless of wealth or status have a similar chance of catching the trophy. That the big one does not necessarily go to the most skillful, the richest or the smartest.
He will soon grow restless and feel confined by his home waters, known streams and familiar places to fish. He will want to visit new places, new rivers, new environments, try his skills on new species, see the world. To satisfy his desires he will learn the need to find the means to sustain himself and his endeavors. He will be motivated to work harder, be creative and productive and generate the wealth necessary to be able to afford the needs of his quest. He will learn the value of his time and perhaps finally understand that fishing days truly are not to be deducted from life.
One day, long after you have gone to the proverbial happy fishing grounds, after a particularly fun evening fishing a good hatch, he will seek a place of solace, sit on a log by the flowing river of life to contemplate the bounty delivered, the good feeling of being in the right place at the right time, his love for his fishing. In his solitude and thoughtful moment, he will remember you with love and thankfulness for the precious gift that you had left him. A legacy of things important, happy moments shared, secrets kept. Then not only would you have filled his life with a very special gift, but you would have also have achieved what most men seek of life: going on living within the hearts of our loved ones. Leaving a worthwhile mark. Being remembered.
So many important consequences derived from the simple act of picking up a fly rod, a handful of flies and taking a child along to fish! So take your time, teach him well. Enjoy the quality of your time together. Teach him to fish and you will be leaving with him a better, kinder view of the world.R. Morillo
